风苇倾谈 25-05-29 04:28

有人让我推荐一些抗焦虑的书,我觉得,焦虑不是一种简单的情绪,更像是一种对失控的反应——我们渴望掌控,却又发现世界比我们想象得更混乱;我们努力学习配合乃至迎合,却又感到孤独和不被理解。焦虑常常源于脆弱被压抑、真实感受被否认、人际联结被中断。 今天先推荐一位作者:布芮妮·布朗(Brené Brown)。她是美国休斯敦大学的研究教授,研究领域包括脆弱、勇气、羞耻、同理心与领导力。

核心著作:
The Gifts of Imperfection (2010)
Focus: Letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.
Daring Greatly (2012)
Focus: The power of vulnerability in leadership, creativity, and relationships.
Rising Strong (2015)
Focus: What happens after we fall—how we get back up with integrity.
Braving the Wilderness (2017)
Focus: The quest for true belonging and the courage to stand alone.
Dare to Lead (2018)
Focus: Building courageous workplaces and leading with vulnerability and empathy.

Brené Brown 的主要论点 / Key Arguments from Brené Brown (我读的是英文版,以下选摘为机翻)
1. Vulnerability is not weakness—it is the courage to show up and be seen, even when the outcome is uncertain.
脆弱不是软弱——而是当结果尚未可知时,仍然愿意站出来、被看见的勇气。

2. True belonging comes from being your authentic self, not from fitting in.
真正的归属感来自于展现真实的自我,而不是去迎合他人。

3. “Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
“我们对归属感的感知,永远不会高于我们对自己的接纳程度。”

4. We often try to protect ourselves from vulnerability by:
我们常常试图通过以下方式来保护自己免受脆弱情绪的影响:

Numbing emotions
麻痹情感
Denying pain and passing it on to others
否认痛苦,并将其转嫁给他人
Or courageously owning it and growing empathy
或者,我们选择勇敢地承认痛苦,并在过程中培养出同理心
5. Trust and integrity are built through consistent, small behaviors—what she calls the BRAVING inventory:
信任和正直,是通过一致且细微的行为建立起来的——她称之为 BRAVING 清单:

Boundaries(边界):尊重彼此的界限,明确什么可以、什么不可以
Reliability(可靠):说到做到,了解自己的能力与限制
Accountability(责任):承认错误、道歉并修正
Vault(保密):守口如瓶,不泄露他人的隐私
Integrity(正直):选择勇气而非舒适,践行价值观而非空谈
Non-judgment(不评判):可以互相提出需求,也可以讨论感受,而不被评判
Generosity(宽厚):用最慷慨的解释去理解他人的言行
6. Joy is the most vulnerable emotion: We often "dress-rehearse tragedy" instead of allowing ourselves to feel joy fully
喜悦是最脆弱的情感:我们常常为悲剧进行“彩排”,而不敢完全投入地感受喜悦。

7. Gratitude combats fear: Gratitude is a grounding force when navigating change and pain
感恩是对抗恐惧的良方:在面对变化和痛苦时,感恩能让我们重新扎根,获得稳定感。

发布于 美国